Twice in A Lifetime
by Katherine Bristow
Summary: Knockout/Rise: Kate's heart stops in that ambulance, but that isn't the end. She is given the gift of a second chance, but in order to make her greatest wish come true it could mean giving up something even more important than Kate could ever imagine...
1. Prologue: In an Instant

**Twice in a Lifetime: **

**Prologue: In an Instant**

**Disclaimer: Castle does not belong to me. **

**Author's Note: This is only my 2nd fanfic ever. Please review! Constructive critiscim is welcomed! The idea and some of the beginning events of this story comes from the old television show Twice in a Lifetime. Enjoy! **

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><p>It's utterly amazing and completely terrifying how much your life can change in an instant. Kate Beckett learned this truth at nineteen when in an<p>

instant she went from a college co-ed without a care in the world , to a broken young woman with a burning need for justice and a hole in her heart she

knew would never heal.

Over time, on the job, Kate learned to be prepared for anything. The adrenaline kept her on edge and kept her sane. If you were ready for anything

then nothing would catch you off guard and sucker punch you. At least, that's what she thought; until Captain Montgomery sprung an exuberant writer

on her and in an instant her whole life tilted on its axis once again. Although lately she'd been wondering if Castle really had turned her life upside down,

or if he had simply made the world right side up again. It took almost three years for Kate to notice that Castle had forced her back into the land of the

living. It had been so long since anything had made any sense to her but whenever Castle was around he had a singular way of making her forget, for at

least a moment, that she was damaged. He kept her on her toes, but he also kept her grounded, refusing to let her slip back into the darkness that had

consumed her after her mother's death. No matter what he was always right there, standing beside her, helping her to stand tall.

Which is why it must be poetic justice that it was Castle who tackled her to the ground, yanking solid ground out from under her feet and crushing

her under his weight. The heat from the bullet seared through Kate's chest, stealing the breath from her lungs as her mind sluggishly tried to catch up

with the fact that two seconds ago she had been giving the final eulogy for her beloved Captain and now she was dying in the bright sunlight, while

Castle held her tight…begging her to hang on, not to leave him, whispering those three little words that changed everything, or at least would have

changed everything had she not been bleeding out in the grass, incapable of processing the depth of the emotion those words invoked in her soul, and

uncertain if it was the searing pain of a gaping bullet hole in her chest that had her gasping for air or the crippling emotional ache of knowing that she

would never get a chance to say these words to him no matter how much she might want to. The world went dark, just for an instant, and then Castle

was gone and she was in an ambulance surrounded by frantic EMTs and a terrified Lanie, and she tried so hard to keep her eyes open, because if she

was going to die she wanted the last thing she ever saw to be Richard Castle, but she couldn't fight the darkness anymore, and she could barely hear

the frantic beep beep beep of the EKG and then she couldn't hear anything at all. And the soul of Katherine Beckett left her earthly body flat lining in the

back of a New York City Ambulance and in that instant she was gone.


	2. Chapter One: Of Second Chances

A/N: Is anyone reading this? Please review I'm starved for feedback lol :)!

Disclaimer: Again, neither Castle or the show Twice in a Lifetime belong to me. Othneil and Mr. Jones belong to Twice in a Lifetime as well.

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><p>When Kate opened up her eyes a harsh, bright light assaulted her senses. Kate blinked quickly to stave off the offensive glare, grateful that after a few<p>

moments the source of the light seemed to dim, allowing her to catalog her surroundings. She was standing in what appeared to be the hallway of an

empty courthouse; although it couldn't have been any in New York City because it was too clean, and Kate had never seen a public courthouse deserted

before. Before she had a chance to figure out how she had ended up here the heavy oak doors of one of the courtrooms opened slowly and out came a

man dressed in a suit and tie. Average height and build with dark hair, of indeterminable age, he was entirely unremarkable in any way. "The judge will

see you now" he told her, holding the door open, and seeing no other alternative Kate followed him through the door, hoping someone would tell her

what in the world was going on.

The judge who presided over the empty courtroom was unfamiliar to Kate as well; with his stark white hair and thick glasses she would have guessed he

was long passed the age of retirement, yet when he looked down at her his blue eyes revealed the keen intelligence of a man fully in control of his

mental facilities. Kate and the man that had escorted her into the courtroom stopped in front of the judge's bench and waited as the judge stared at

Kate, his penetrating gaze making her feel as if he was examining her very soul. Finally the judge turned his gaze from Kate to her escort. " You may

proceed Mr. Jones."

Mr. Jones cleared his throat. "Honorable Judge Othniel may I present my client Katherine Beckett. She is here to stand judgment and receive her final

sentence."

At this statment Kate couldn't help but interject "Wait a minute! Judgment for what? I haven't committed a crime. What's going on here?"

Mr. Jones turned toward her. "You are here Katherine Beckett to face judgment for your life. Judge Othniel will to determine your fate. Your eternal fate."

"My eternal fate?" Kate asked incredulously. "But that would mean….am I dead?"

"Yes I am afraid you are" Mr. Jones replied.

Kate wanted to respond, wanted to deny this terrible claim, but then all at once her memories came back to her…the sound of a gunshot, the blinding

pain, the cold ground beneath her, and Castle's profession of love. "How…how long?" she whispered.

"A second, an hour, a millennia, it's all the same," Judge Othniel answered. "Time doesn't pass the same here as it does on Earth. I can tell you that on

Earth, barely a minute has passed since your spirit has vacated your body. It makes you a very special case, Katherine Beckett, very special indeed.

Which is why we must begin at once. Please proceed, Mr. Jones."

"Your honor, I profess that one, Katherine Beckett, has lived her life thus far with honor and dignity, to the best of her ability. She has taken great

personal tragedy and transformed it into a measure of strength, working tirelessly each and every day as a public servant, keeping others safe. I argue

that she has performed her duty to the fullest extent, and is deserving of her eternal reward."

"You make a valid point, Mr. Jones. However, while Ms. Beckett has lived an exemplary professional life, her personal life leaves a lot to be desired for.

Failed relationships and very few emotional attachments are what you are leaving behind Ms. Beckett. While you were alive you hid behind a wall, afraid

of living and the pain that it might cause. You stifled your capacity to love." Judge Othneil lectured a stunned Kate. "This cannot be overlooked"

Mr. Jones interceded, "yes your honor, but how can we count that against my client? To lose a parent so young, and in such a violent way can only be

expected to have such a deep emotional impact. And if we are to examine my client's last three years on Earth we will see what amazing progress she

has made in that time. How can we determine how much her ability to love and open up her heart could have changed if she had been granted more

time?"

"And now we arrive at the crux of the issue. What _could_ have been; what_ should _have been. Questions that make all the difference, don't you agree Ms.

Beckett?

Startled, Kate couldn't think to form a response. "I'm..I'm not sure what you mean your honor" she hedged. "I know that I'm not the most open person;

that I've allowed my mother's murder to influence me. I've let it drive me to be the best cop that I can be, but I've also used it as an excuse….an excuse

not to open my heart to others, to keep everyone at a distance. It's just that after losing my mother I don't think I could go through that again. To allow

someone all the way into my heart just to lose them again…I don't think I'm strong enough to survive that." Kate ducked her head shamefully.

"My child, you would be surprised what the heart can survive" Judge Othniel replied. "What say you, Mr. Jones?"

"I believe that my client has said all that needs to be said. Had it not been for her mother's murder her life would have taken a very different path, one

that would have allowed her to open up her heart to others."

"Yes, I do believe that is the case. Although different does not all way mean better, don't you agree Mr. Jones? That leads us to your sentence, Katherine

Beckett. Under ordinary circumstances the men and women I see in my courtroom are given two choices. However, in death as in life you are

extraordinary, Katherine Beckett. You have done your duty, you have kept people safe, brought closure to those who need it, and for those works, if you

wish it, you may receive your eternal reward and enter the gates of Heaven. However, there is still much more work for you to do on Earth and if you

decide that your time is not yet up, that there is still more for you to do you may return to your Earthly body to continue to live out the rest of your days."

At this pronouncement Kate was stunned. She had believed Mr. Jones when he said that she was dead, that there was no longer any hope, and

although she certainly hadn't had any time yet to process this fact, let alone accept it, she had certainly not been expecting to be given a chance to

return to her life. This would be her chance to become a better person: a better cop, a better daughter, a better friend. She would get a chance to go

back and tell Castle that she loved him too...she wouldn't have to leave him alone with his guilt. And yet…. "you said that you normally give people two

choices..are these them? What makes me extraordinary?"

"You are extraordinary Ms. Beckett, because you are being granted a third option; orders that have come straight from the top! If you choose, instead of

going back to your life as it is now, or going forward to your afterlife, you will be given the chance to go back into your past and prevent the one event

that forever altered the course of your life." Judge Othniel decreed.

For a minute Kate was unable to process what was being offered to her. But then her brain caught up and an almost suffocating feeling of hope rose in

her chest "Do you mean that I can go back and save my Mom?" she whispered, scarcely daring to allow herself to hope.

"Yes I do." Judge Othniel replied. Kate could hardly breathe. "That's all I've ever wanted to do. To have my mom back…oh please let me save her," Kate

begged, unable to keep the hide her desperation.

"The choice is yours to make and yours alone." Judge Othniel declared. "However" he cautioned "it will not be an easy decision, nor should it be taken

lightly. For everything that is gained something is lost. You will be given three visions, and three visions only, to help guide you in your choice. You are a

free agent in the universe, go with the blessing of God Almighty and his court…" and with a bang of his gavel the floor gave way beneath Kate's feet and

everything once again went dark.

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><p>When Kate woke up she was surrounded by darkness. The hard wooden pillow beneath her head seemed vaguely familiar, until the tentacles of sleep<p>

released their hold on her consciousness and she realized the "wooden" pillow was merely the hard surface of her desk. The familiar shapes of the

empty precinct materialized in the hazy glow from the emergency lights, and coupled with the taste of stale coffee clinging to her tongue led Kate to the

conclusion that she had worked into the night and once again had fallen asleep at her desk. Wiping the last vestiges of sleep from her eyes, Kate looked

around to see if she could catch a glimpse of a clock, and instead noticed the glow of a light emanating from Montgomery's office, and Montgomery

himself sitting at his desk going over paperwork. For a minute Kate stared uncomprehending at the familiar form of her Captain, until a crashing wave of

relief engulfed her. It was all a dream! Lockwood's escape, Montgomery's death, the sniper at the cemetery, even the bizarre supernatural trial. With a

relieved laugh Kate bereted herself for working too hard and allowing her psyche to manufacture such bizarre fiction. Perhaps she really had been

around Castle for too long...his zany ideas was starting to rub off on her!

Slowly Kate started gathering her things to go home, when Montgomery appeared at the threshold of his office. "Now Beckett, what have I told you

about working till all hours of the night," he bereted her in his refreshingly familiar baritone.

"Sorry Sir, I must have fallen asleep." She replied sheepishly. "I was just about to head out. What about you, Sir? You're never here past 6."

"Well, I had some unfinished business here tonight" Montgomery said. "But I'm almost done now. Why don't you sit down." Kate sat back in her chair as

Montgomery leaned against her desk, silently offering her the silver flask that he normally kept in his right hand desk drawer. Kate took a sip, winching

as the whiskey burned its way down her throat. "You know Kate, I've been the Captain of this precinct for a very long time. Longer than my wife would

have liked, that's for sure," He chuckled, taking his own sip of whiskey. "That's why I promised her I would retire. Course I've been saying it for years

now, so it isn't a surprise no one believes me."

"Are you saying that you really are going to retire, Sir?" Kate wondered, trying to picture the precinct without Montgomery and winching when images

from her nightmare ran across her mind.

Montgomery shook his head. "Don't think I'd ever be able to say goodbye. This precinct is my home, and every cop who's gone through the twelfth is my

family. I don't think I would ever have been able to retire knowing that there was still work to be done, and sins to atone for."

Kate looked up sharply. "Sir?"

"You can drop the Sir, Kate. We are off duty. Have been for quite a while" Montgomery to another long sip of whiskey. "You know Kate, when I first laid

eyes on you in that record room I knew you'd make one hell of a cop. That tenacity, that passion for justice drove you to look deeper, push harder, and

to be better than any cop I've ever known. I've tried to teach you everything I know, but you surpassed me long ago. I know that it was your mother's

murder that has made you into the cop you are today. As terrible as it was, losing your mother, never having the answers that you needed, that is

precisely what has made you such a damn fine cop. It's because you know what it's like to not have answers, and you'll be damned if you'll leave any

one of your victim's families with the same questions you have. No one else cares as much as you. Not even Espositio and Ryan. That's your strength. But

it can also be your downfall. Don't let your drive get in the way of your life. Don't put everything on hold to solve the case. You deserve to have a little

fun. To live."

Kate sighed. "I know Capt'n. And I'm trying. I just get caught up sometimes. But I am going to work harder on letting go. Particularly when it

comes to leaving on time." She laughed. "Although I guess tonight we're in the same boat, right?"

Montgomery didn't smile. "You know it's not your fault, Kate" he said, grabbing her hand.

"What do you mean," Kate asked in confusion. "What's not my fault?"

"My death."

Kate's eyes widened and her heart dropped into her stomach. "No…no that was just a dream!" She whispered in horror.

Montgomery shook his head sadly. "No Kate, I'm afraid it wasn't. Everything was real. I'm dead. And so are you."

TBC...


	3. Chapter Two: Everyday You Save My Life

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: This isn't mine...if it was "47 Seconds" would not have ended like that! **

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><p><em>Previously: <em>

_You know it's not your fault, Kate" he said, grabbing her hand._

_"What do you mean," Kate asked in confusion. "What's not my fault?"_

_"My death."_

_Kate's eyes widened and her heart dropped into her stomach. "No…no that was just a dream!" She whispered in horror._

_Montgomery shook his head sadly. "No Kate, I'm afraid it wasn't. Everything was real. I'm dead. And so are you."_

Kate shrank away from Montgomery in disbelief. "No….that was a dream. This can't be real!"

"I'm afraid it is, Kate," Montgomery sighed. "Why don't you sit back down. We have a lot to talk about."

Instead of obeying, Kate backed away from Montgomery, unwilling to accept this surreal situation as reality.

"Please Kate. I know this is a lot to handle, but if you could just trust me…even though I don't deserve it, I promise all of your questions will be

answered".

Kate wavered. This was her Captain, her friend. Before the events in the hanger she would have trusted him with her life. Even after learning of his

betrayal Montgomery had done everything to keep her safe. He had sacrificed his life for her. She at least owed him the opportunity to explain what was

going on. Reluctantly Kate returned to her desk and sat down. "So this is real? Your death, my death, that bizarre trial?"

Montgomery nodded, "Yes it is."

"And I really have the chance to save my mother?"

Montgomery hesitated before nodding again.

"Then why am I here? Why can't I just go back to the day she was killed and save her? Why are you here? You said that you didn't cause her death, at

least not directly, so what the hell can you do to help me now!" Kate jumped up and started pacing, her frustration reaching a boiling point. This whole

situation had left her confused and, if she was truly honest with herself, scared. Not to mention that now that she was face to face with Montgomery she

couldn't ignore how angry and betrayed and abandoned she had felt when he died.

Montgomery didn't respond to Kate's angry words. He watched her in silence as she worked to get control of her emotions. Finally, after a fierce internal

struggle Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. She was never going to get any answers like this.

"I'm sorry, Sir. It's just that nothing makes any sense right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"All you need to do is listen, Kate. After that the choice is all yours."

Reluctantly Kate returned to her desk and sank down in her chair. "Alright Capt'n, I'm listening. What do you have to tell me?

"Kate, I've always told you that you are a damn good cop. The best I've ever trained, hell even the best I've ever known. I never lied about that. I have

never met a cop as dedicated and hardworking as you. And don't think that I was the only one who noticed. I may have taken you under my wing, my

guilt may have initially driven me to train you as a detective, but I never pulled any strings for you. Not once. I didn't have to. You earned recognition

throughout the department on your own. You're smart, Kate. You find connections that other cops would miss. Esposito and Ryan can't keep up with you,

and they are topnotch cops in their own right. And yet they can't even hold a candle to you. Whether or not you ever realized it, you have always been

the shining star of the twelfth."

"Um, wow. Thank you sir. I really don't really know what to say." No matter her current conflicting feelings about Montgomery, Kate had always respected

him, and hearing his high praise now filled her with a sense of pride and accomplishment. "I always just tried to be the best cop I could be. All I ever

wanted was to get justice for the victims, and to try and bring their families a small measure of peace. The peace I never got."

"Well you certainly did that, Kate. You were able to channel a devastating loss into something wonderful. You let your pain become your strength and

you used it to help others. And you've helped so many people. Tell me Kate, did you like being a cop?"

Kate didn't even have to think. "I was so lost after my mother's death. I felt angry at the world, and lost, and helpless. When I first joined the force it

was because I thought if I could just have the resources that the cops had, then I could find who killed my mother and make them pay. It gave me a

sense of purpose. I wasn't helpless anymore, because there was finally something that I could do. My Dad didn't understand it. He thought I was being

reckless and self-destructive, and I guess maybe at the beginning he was right. But somehow, along the way, I think I found my calling. The mystery

drives me to solve the case. Locking up criminals makes me feel like I'm helping in some small way to make the world a better place. And bringing closure

to a victim's family helps me to feel closer to my mom than anything else. Being a cop and a part of the twelfth saved me. You guys were my family when I

didn't have anywhere else to turn. Of course I love being a cop."

Montgomery smiled sadly. "I thought so. So did I. Being a cop was my life. I would have gladly served this city until they forced me to take my pension

and retire. But life doesn't always turn out the way we hope."

Kate looked away. "I'm sorry. If it wasn't for me you'd still be alive."

Montgomery shook his head. "You can't blame yourself for things that you have no control over. You didn't start this war, they did. What happened to me

is not your fault."

"Please, tell me who they are. Who started all of this? Who killed my mother? Please…I need to know." Kate begged.

Montgomery frowned. "I can't tell you that Kate. Not even now. Besides, none of that matter now. You have a choice to make. If you choose to save your

mother then you would never need to know who was behind all of this. You and I would never have even met, because with your mother alive you would

never have become a cop."

Kate froze at Montgomery's words. She had never even thought about that. All she had been imagining was the chance to see her mother again, but

now she had to think about a life without the badge that had defined her life for the last twelve years.

"I guess I didn't really consider that, Sir."

"Changes things a bit, doesn't it?" Montgomery questioned.

Kate shook her head. "Sir, I've always said that I would give anything to have been able to save my mother. I may love being a cop, but that can't even

compare to my mother."

"It isn't that simple, Kate. It's easy to go through life and not realize how much our actions effect others. But every little thing that we do causes a

reaction. Just like throwing a stone into a pond. Something so small can grow bigger and bigger, sending ripples of change out into the world that never

stop. Every single day that you walked into my precinct, you made a difference. You changed somebody's life."

Kate vehemently disagreed. "I did my job. That's all. If I wasn't there to do it, another cop would have. Someone else would have helped those people.

I'm not irreplaceable, Sir."

Montgomery shook his head. "That's not true, Kate. But perhaps you'll only believe it if you see it for yourself."

Suddenly Kate felt a sharp pain through her skull, and every single murder case she'd ever worked, every person she'd met at the twelfth, every killer

she'd put away flashed through her mind in slow motion.

Montgomery's voice rang in her ears as Kate watched images of her life as a cop.

"There was Chloe Richardson, the nanny who killed her best friend. She was ready to kill herself when you found her. You talked her down. You saved

her life, and the life of her unborn child.

And Diana Edwards, whose only fault was buying a knockoff purse. If it wasn't for you she would have been murdered in her apartment before the police

even figured out who she was.

Without you to lend inspiration for Nikki Heat and attract his attentions, Scott Dunn would have continued killing people for years unnoticed, and when

the FBI finally begins tracking him he would have killed Agent Jordan Shaw before finally being arrested.

And then of course there was that bomb set to go off in New York City…"

Kate cringes as she sees an image of her and Castle standing in front of the ticking bomb. The implications of not being there to stop it are horrifying.

As if reading her mind, Montgomery responds. "No, Kate, the bomb still doesn't go off. But the terrorists are never caught. Nazihah is caught driving the

van and she is charged with a crime she didn't commit, while her daughter is sent to foster care, raised by strangers, believing her parents were

terrorists.

Then there was Tyler Donegal, the boy who was kidnapped and held in the subway station. Both Tyler and his father Dean would have been killed as

soon as the kidnappers got what they wanted. You saved Tyler. You saved them both.

And there are so many other people that you have saved during your time as a cop, Kate. And for every person that you saved, there are at least three

more people who never have to know what it's like to lose a loved one. All thanks to you." _(A/N: View my fan video of Kate's life as a cop flashing before _

_her eyes: doesn't allow links, so type in youtube . com and then add /_watch?v=R54j8Kg2dKs )

Kate leaned back in her chair, contemplating the facts Montgomery had just laid before her. "Sir, how can you ask me to choose between saving my

mother and saving a world full of strangers?" She asked softly. "More to the point, why would a heavenly judge give me an option to save my mother if it

would hurt so many people? I may have done the best I could to solve each case I was given as a cop, but I truly believe that so would any other cop in

my place. Are you really telling me that if I was never a cop no one else would have been able to save any of the people that I saved?"

Montgomery sighed. "Kate, nothing in the future is ever set in stone. Until you make your final decision there is no telling everything that will change in a

world in which your mother was never murdered. But what I am showing you are the people you have saved. These people who are alive today because

of you. You are an extraordinary cop, and no one would have been able to take your place. This I know without any doubts."

Kate looked around the precinct, at the four walls that had been her home for a long time. She thought of how much she'd miss this place, her friends,

her job. But then she thought of the necklace she wore every single time she walked into the precinct; and of how much she had missed her mother

every single day for the past twelve years. Kate took a deep breath. "I can't imagine waking up every day and not being a cop. But, I wouldn't remember

my life before, would I? I wouldn't remember being a cop, so I wouldn't be able to miss it. And even if I could, it's nothing compared to how much I miss

my mother, everyday. I'm sorry, Sir."

Montgomery sighed. "Don't apologize, Kate. It's your choice to make. And you're right. You wouldn't remember. You would have a whole new life. Have

you ever thought about that before? What your life would be like if your mother had lived? What you would have done if you hadn't become a cop?"

Kate shook her head "Not really. I was an English major at Stanford. And I was considering picking up a minor in theater. But I really didn't have a clue

what I wanted to be."

Abruptly Montgomery stood up and grabbed Kate's hand. He snapped his fingers and the walls of the precinct melted away

_TBC_

A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending. I've been having a bit of trouble with this chapter and it's second half, but hopefully it will all come together :). Please view my video! :). I actually started making it before I wrote this story, as a way to visualize the concept of Kate's life as a cop.


	4. Chapter Three: What Could Have Been

**A/N: Sorry its taken so long for an update; I've had a lot going on and a little bit of writer's block, but that season finale sure inspired me! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter a lot sooner. Also, if you didn't get a chance to check out the compainion video to the last chapter on youtube please do! The address is youtube .com /watch?v=R54j8Kg2dKs (without the spaces). **

** Enojy! **

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><p><em>Previously: <em>

_Montgomery sighed. "Don't apologize, Kate. It's your choice to make. And you're right. You wouldn't remember. You would have a whole new life. Have_

_you ever thought about that before? What your life would be like if your mother had lived? What you would have done if you hadn't become a cop?"_

_Kate shook her head "Not really. I was an English major at Stanford. And I was considering picking up a minor in theater. But I really didn't have a clue_

_what I wanted to be."_

_Abruptly Montgomery stood up and grabbed Kate's hand. He snapped his fingers and the walls of the precinct melted away_

Suddenly they were standing in a brightly lit classroom surrounded by chatting teenagers. Not a single one seemed to notice Kate and Montgomery.

"Don't worry, they can't see us." Montgomery said.

"Where are we?"

"Trinity Academy Prep School. If you hadn't been a cop this is where you'd be. Teaching English to about sixty jaded teenagers every year and running an

after school drama program." Montgomery was interrupted by the high pitched ringing of a school bell, and suddenly Kate gasped as she saw herself

walking through the classroom doors. Her hair was longer and her body looked softer, lacking the well defined muscles Kate's daily police workouts

provided, but she was smiling as she told the students to take out their books. The other Kate's smile didn't even falter at the groans of her students as

she launched into a lecture on the merits of Shakespeare, and how his works still influence the modern theatre. Kate watched in awe as her

doppelganger commanded the attention of the majority of the students with her witty anecdotes; purposely ignoring the few students who were

distractedly doodling in notebooks; and confiscating cell phone from a less than sneaky texter, all without losing her train of thought.

Kate was so lost in watching this other version of her life unfold that she had forgotten about Montgomery until he spoke. "Teaching is a noble

profession, Kate. And you would without a doubt be one of the better teachers in this city. You're tough but fair, expecting each and every one of your

students to strive to reach their full potential. You have compassion for your students and passion for your chosen field, something that is becoming

increasingly rare in our schools. Every year there will be at least a few students whom you have inspired, who will always remember their high school

literature teacher. For those few students you will have changed their lives."

But Kate could hear the unspoken truth behind his words. "I would be changing lives, but not saving them. I would be helping just a few people instead

of the many that I would have helped if I was a cop." Montgomery didn't answer. He didn't need to. Kate already knew what he believed. She knew what

he thought she should choose.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Kate whispered. "But she was my mother. I lost her once and I didn't have any choice in the matter. Now I do have a choice and I can't

lose her again. I won't. Not for anything."

Montgomery gave a resigned sigh. "Don't be sorry. You listened to what I had to say. That's all I asked for. It's your decision to make, and I can't blame

you for whatever you choose. If it wasn't for me none of this would have ever happened to you in the first place."

Kate looked up. "Sir, If you had the chance to go back and stop yourself from killing Bob Armen wouldn't you take it?"

Montgomery shook his head. "I've made my peace with the things I've done. Killing Armen is what drove me to be a better cop. Without that ambition I

never would have made Captain. If I wasn't a Captain I never would have met my wife, I never would have had my daughters. Even though my time with

them was too short I wouldn't have changed a second of it. Not for the world. But that's my choice, not yours."

The classroom faded away and Montgomery and Kate were once again alone in the vacant precinct.

"This is the last time that I'm going to be in the twelfth isn't it?" Kate asked sadly.

"If you choose to save your mother then yes, it is."

Kate looked around at the walls, peeling with paint, that had become so familiar to her during the last few years. There was nowhere else that had felt

like a home to her since her mother died. Looking at Montgomery she realized that he was a huge part of that. During her years at the twelfth

Montgomery had always looked out for her, so much more than any Captain was expected to. In the end he had even taken a bullet that was meant for

her. If this was going to be her last time at the precinct; the last time she'd ever see Montgomery (or even remember him)...she couldn't leave anything

unsaid.

"I know that this doesn't really matter, after this you won't remember me….but Roy, I was telling the truth in the hanger. I really do forgive you. I may

have been angry and hurt, I certainly felt betrayed, but I don't blame you for what happened to my mother, for keeping what you know a secret. I know

you only did what you had to do to keep me save. To keep your family safe."

Montgomery clenched his jaw, clearly fighting back emotions, before stepping forward and enveloping Kate in a strong hug. "You have no idea how much

your forgiveness means to me, Kate. I never wanted to hut you."

"I know that now." Kate whispered as Montgomery let her go. "But I was so angry before I...before I was shot, before I was sent here. I was so angry

about the conspiracy; about losing Lockwood, losing my only lead. Then I was so mad at you for lying to me, and for dying for me. I still don't understand

why you had to sacrifice yourself. Why you wouldn't let me help you take down Lockwood together. And why in the world you called Castle!" Kate

faltered as the memories of Castle at the hanger flashed through her mind, something that certainly did not go unnoticed by Montgomery.

"Kate, you have to understand that I knew the moment Lockwood asked me to set that trap for you that I was going to die. There was no way I was

going to let them hurt you, but Lockwood threatened my family. If I had come out of there alive they would have killed my family before Lockwood's blood

had a chance to cool on the pavement. But I also know you Kate. You would never have accepted that. You would have tried to find a way to beat them,

and if that failed, you would have sacrificed yourself. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let anyone else suffer for my sins. But that wouldn't have

mattered to you. There was nothing that I could have said that would have made you to leave that hanger. But Castle could."

Surprised, Kate tried to protest, but Montgomery silenced her.

"There's no use arguing with me, Kate. I know you. And I know Castle. I've watched the two of you over the last three years. He's good for you, Kate. I

know you were angry with him, but he has a way of getting through to you when no one else can. Even I'm not sure how he does it. He cares about you

Kate, and I knew that he would do whatever it took to keep you safe. And I know you knew it too. That's why you let him drag you out of there. Because

if you hadn't then he would have taken a bullet for you in that hanger, and there's no way you would have let that happen. Because you'd do anything

to keep him safe too."

Kate quietly absorbed what Montgomery had said. Montgomery's observations were way to close to identifying something Kate couldn't talk about or

even think about. Deep down she knew the truth in his words. The truth that she had been hiding from herself, the truth in three little words that had

cut through the haze of death, that she couldn't bear to think of. Because never being a cop had other implications, and Kate couldn't let her mind stray

there, not with the promise of her mother's life. She looked away from Montgomery, shaking her head, scattering the memories that threatened to

overwhelm her. "None of that matters anymore," She whispered. "At least now none of it will have ever happened. You won't die in that hanger. You'll

get to go back to your family, watch your daughters grow up. I won't just be saving my mother, but I'll be saving you too. Right, Sir?"

Montgomery shook his head. "Maybe. But maybe not. I got in deep with the devil all those years ago, Kate. This was always going to be my fate. Maybe I

would have had more time, but eventually they would have caught up with me. They would have demanded something from me, and I swore years ago I

would never again surrender my integrity, no matter what. At least you made sure that my family would have remembered me as a hero. You didn't let

me die in disgrace like I should have." Montgomery gazed wistfully at Kate. "But like you said, that doesn't matter now. You still have your own choice to

make, Kate. It's time for you to go on."

Kate felt the tears welling in eyes. She couldn't even find it in herself to be embarrassed when one rogue tear escaped, blazing a hot trail down her

cheek. After all, how could she be embarrassed when she could see the unshed tears glistening in Montgomery's eyes as well. She wrapped her arms

around her Captain, her mentor, and her friend one last time. "Goodbye, Kate" he whispered to her. "Be strong." Then, suddenly, he let go, and Kate

was standing all alone.

In the blink of an eye the familiar walls of the twelfth had vanished, and Kate found herself standing in an empty gym. Disoriented Kate tried to work out

where exactly she was now. It wasn't the training room at the twelfth; the walls were painted a dreary gray instead of the equally dreary brown, but

there were workout mats, weights, even a punching bag, just like at the twelfth. Everything seemed vaguely familiar, but fuzzy, and Kate couldn't quite

focus her attention. It wasn't until she caught sight of the faded poster on the wall displaying the Law Enforcement Oath of Honor that she remembered.

She was in the training room at the police academy. Somewhere she hadn't been in over eight years. And she wasn't alone. The hairs on her arms rose

and a frisson of fear shot through Kate as she registered the presence of someone behind her. She tensed, steeling herself for a fight, but before she

could turn around she was stunned, not by a blow, but with the words spoken by the person behind her.

"Hello, Kid" drawled a familiar voice.

Kate felt her heart clench in her chest. Slowly she spun around to face her visitor in disbelief. "Royce?"

_TBC_


End file.
